.::.Countdown to One Moment.::.

Twenty years of excellence
Nineteen years of smiling
Eighteen years of happiness
Seventeen years of gratitude
Sixteen years of confidence
Fifteen years of forgiveness
Fourteen years of giving
Thirteen years of curiosity
Twelve years of honesty
Eleven years of growing
Ten years of courage
Nine years of friendship
Eight years of understanding
Seven years of loyalty
Six years of conversation
Five years of wondering
Four years of strength
Three years of humbleness
Two years of laughter
One year of loving
One month of wishing
One week of caring
One day of seeking
One hour of hoping
One minute of praying
One second of seeing
One moment still waiting to be fulfilled.

***TIRED***

I'm tired of letting in men who don't know how to pull out,
I'm not talking about sex,
I'm talking about the low-down dirty bastards who don't know how to leave when they know they've broken your heart.
I'm tired of catching the same disease from men,
I'm not talking about sex,
I'm talking about the disease of love that's so contagious when you fall for the wrong guy.
I'm tired of playing the "69" game,
I'm not talking about sex,
I'm talking about the 6 times you take his sorry ass back for the 9 girls he cheated on you with.
I'm tired of being on the bottom,
I'm not talking about sex,
I'm talking about being rock bottom because his dumb ass is too weak to help you up.
I'm tired of not being able to pick the position,
I'm not talking about sex,
I'm talking about the position that breaks his ego, but your too scared to take it because your stupidly in love.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired,
Enough is enough,
So baby boy...you gotta pack up and head for the door. Don't look back cause this sista can't take it anymore.

(: Still Smiling :)

Through it all I'm still smiling:
Countless heartbreaks,
Numerous tears,
Long, sleepless nights,
Never-ending arguments,
Heartfelt prayers,
Unforgiving moments,
Fear after every nightmare,
Losing and gaining weight,
Loss of too many strands of hair,
A handful of chest pains,
Body aches out of this world,
So many "I love you's"
Too many "I don't care's "
A whole lot of trust,
But you know what,
Through it all I'm still smiling.
You may have hurt me
You may have left me
You may have made me cry
You may have wanted me to die
You may have lied
You may have cheated
You may have thought you won
But I'm still standing,
I'm still living,
And most of all...
Through it all I'm still smiling!

~ So Close To Missing Out ~

Your like a gust of wind in a quiet storm, you simply take my breath away. You are something special, but you constantly fail to realize it. You have a good heart, but your too afraid to put it to good use. I don't know how to hurt you, I only know how to care about you, and potentially fall in love with you. You are amazing in all that you do, but you continue to put up a wall so that people can't see your true beauty. You have feelings and emotions, but like all of those who have been hurt in the past, you hide it with your beautiful smile. Your tears are angelic, I can only wish to see them. You try to fool me with your grace and humor, but I've been where you are so I can't be fooled. I'm not a heartbreaker, I've just been heartbroken. I'm willing to push it all aside, but why aren't you. You are fragile and I see it, but you show others that you are hard as stone. Your beauty is everlasting, but it only takes you a minute to try to destroy it. You speak as if you don't hurt, you smile as if you don't feel, you run as if you can't walk, and you hide as if you can't be seen. Stop trying to be perfect, strop trying to keep it all in. I'm willing to stand beside you, if your willing to let me in. I can only give so much until I have nothing left to give. I'm standing here waiting, but your steady procrastinating. I'm a good woman, and your a good man. your going to miss out on a good thing, if your never choose to let me in.

Is It You?

I'm growing too old to sit around and put up with the petty stuff in life. I've realized my weaknesses in life, but trust me baby they will soon become my strengths. I've learned to not regret anything in life because every step taken is just another learning experience whether it be good or bad. I admit there are some people in life who should remain in the fantasy world. Through it all I want to give a special thanks to all those *boys* who screwed up my life, but baby boy don't worry because what don't kill me will only make me stronger. I've learned that I should start searching for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now. I'm sick and tired of handing out chances to guys who want to make a difference in my life. From now on you will have to earn my love, and if your a boy looking for a chance you might want to keep it moving because this woman needs security not a playmate. I'm a strong black woman, so please don't try to take advantage of me.

.:.20 Steps Closer to 20 Steps Back.:.

I was one step closer to getting over you,
I was two steps closer to forgiving you.
I was three steps closer to letting it all go,
I was four steps closer to finding the strength to say no.
I was five steps closer to saying good-bye,
I was six steps closer to living my life.
I was seven steps closer to being honest with myself,
I was eight steps closer to throwing away all the pain that was left.
I was nine steps closer to smiling all day,
I was ten steps closer to not letting anyone get in my way.
I was eleven steps closer to shutting you out,
I was twelve steps closer to letting it all out.
I was thirteen steps closer to not crying anymore,
I was fourteen steps closer to locking my door.
I was fifteen steps closer to not even caring,
I was sixteen steps closer to finally learning.
I was seventeen steps closer to closing my eyes,
I was eighteen steps closer to stop believing your lies.
I was nineteen steps closer to being stronger,
I was twenty steps closer to not wanting you any longer.

Now I'm twenty steps back from not learning my lesson,
Now I'm nineteen steps back from missing my blessing.
Now I'm eighteen steps back from shedding more tears,
Now I'm seventeen steps back from more painful years.
Now I'm sixteen steps back from living a lie,
Now I'm fifteen steps back from not learning to try.
Now I'm fourteen steps back from giving it all up,
Now I'm thirteen steps back from not keeping my guards up.
Now I'm twelve steps back from wearing my feelings on my shoulders,
Now I'm eleven steps back from my heart getting colder.
Now I'm ten steps back from telling you to stop,
Now I'm nine steps back from making it to the top.
Now I'm eight steps back from not even smiling,
Now I'm seven steps back from listening to you lying.
Now I'm six steps back from learning to move on,
Now I'm five steps back from making you an option.
Now I'm four steps back from just giving in,
Now I'm three steps back from finding myself again.
Now I'm two steps back from not being smart,
Now I'm one step back from another broken heart.

It's Only Temporary!!!

Memories are meant to last a lifetime,
Heartbreaks should only be temporary.

Laughter is meant to fill the air,
Tears should only be temporary.

Relationships are meant to be long-lasting,
Break-ups should only be temporary.

Happiness is meant to overcome everything,
Loneliness should only be temporary.

Wealth is meant for stability,
Stress should only be temporary.

Honesty is meant for a solid foundation,
Deceitfulness should only be temporary.

Forgiveness is meant for a fresh start,
Hatred should only be temporary.

Courage is meant to be able to stand tall,
Fear should only be temporary.

Confidence is meant for reassurance,
Uncertainty should only be temporary.

Life is meant for a great experience,
Pain should only be temporary.

Love is meant for those who are ready,
Confusion should only be temporary.

Dear Mr.

Dear Mr.,
I'm a girl who may not always know what she wants, but I'm also a girl who strives to make the best out of life. No one is perfect, but I know that I try damn hard to succeed in this crazy world. I hold my head up high, not because I think that I'm all that, but because I have the power to look above all those who wish to bring me down. I am a queen whether you want to believe it or not. I do not need your approval to tell me I'm beautiful because I'm reminded of it everyday when I look in the mirror. I'm not conceited, I'm just confident. My confidence will always outweigh your jealousy and hatred towards me. I am who I am for an reason, and I can promise you I wasn't put on this earth to please you. I'm a lover not a fighter, but I'll fight like hell to protect my heart from getting broken by someone like you, who can't even realize when they have a good woman in front of them. Your too busy seeking for what you want, that you became blinded to the fact that I had feelings too. Maybe it was a mistake to let you in so soon, but I figured we were both adults and we knew how to handle the situation. You don't have to worry because it won't happen again. Your a fool who lost out on a good woman. Your a dog who was too busy searching and digging for dirty bones when your lifetime meal was right under your nose. Your a boy who is too weak and stupid to grow up and be a man. Yet after it all your still human, and your standing with a smile on your face. Well guess what mister, no longer will I care cause I'm the girl who could have been, and would have been yours, and your a has been who should have been smart to catch what was knocking at your door.
Sincerely,
A girl.